|
A genuine work of art must mean many things. The truer its art, the more things it will mean. -George MacDonaldThis afternoon I stood in the yard in the rain.
There was earth and stone, cool wind and breath, water in drops and blasts and broken sheets.
And small -- so small - sparks of fire, burning like navigational stars in a lost universe.
And there are still flower petals on the car, after the deluge, as the storms move on.
The divine should not be somewhere out there. The divine should be in here.
Come back to me. Or let me go. Or find me here, and take me there. "How should I turn back, with no boat, here on the edge of the world?" "This the edge of the world? No, that is farther on. We may yet come to it." -Ursula K. LeGuin, _The Farthest Shore_
Originally posted on Dreamwidth as http://netpositive.dreamwidth.org/74201.html . Do comment either hither or yon, as you see fit.(seem to be a) verb: coming out of the cold Soundtrack: Extreme - Am I Ever Gonna Change
|
|
Do you notice how sensitive you are to your feelings and the feelings of others when you realize you’re in love and it doesn’t look like it will work out? -Carol Chanel
Don't look at yourself in the mirror. Look at what is reflected in the mirror, if you wonder what I see.
If you don't wonder? Then I don't care. That’s the last thing we need more of – things that don’t fuel our light, our life, and our happiness. -Betsy Cross via Stan FarynaI dreamed last night that someone stole my wallet, drained my bank account, and maxed out my credit cards.
You were there.
I can be vulnerable with someone I trust, but you have to *be* that person.
Or not.
Dear Tir'na Na Nogth, I can't run away from home if I don't know where it is. And I don't know where I'm going - Only that I'm not there. At all.
Forever yours in Amber, Conscious Keep the lines of communication open at all times. Yeah, right.
Originally posted on Dreamwidth as http://netpositive.dreamwidth.org/73728.html . Do comment either hither or yon, as you see fit.(seem to be a) verb: trying to look up while fallin Soundtrack: Brian May - I'm Scared / Neil Sedaka - Tit for Tat
|
|
1. Go exploring. Explore ideas, places, and opinions. The inside of the echo chamber is where all the boring people hang out. -Jessica Nagy, "How to be More Interesting (in 10 Simple Steps)"
I hate midwinter.
Everyone who knows me, knows I hate midwinter.
Gonna put one foot in front of the other until spring.
Going slowly, maybe.
But going. You know, I keep dreaming of other people. I want to be in my dreams once in a while. -me, to myself, this morningAnd yet... I'm close to the divine. I can feel it. I have seen it. Touched it, even.
I hear you calling. Please let me hear what you are saying. 10. Ignore the scolds. Boring is safe, and you will be told to behave yourself. The scolds could have, would have, should have. But they didn’t. -Jessica Nagy, again
Originally posted on Dreamwidth as http://netpositive.dreamwidth.org/73585.html . Do comment either hither or yon, as you see fit.(seem to be a) verb: holding pattern, for now Soundtrack: Caro Emerald - Stuck
|
|
I want to fly... -Ofra Haza
I'm not good with change, but it does happen. This year is likely to be more stressful and busy than usual, so I'm being proactive where I can be.
Posted notice: I will still be reading LiveJournal, but will be cross-posting from Dreamwidth. All of my previous entries are backed up there. Just in case. Thank you all for being there. Wherever there is. Fear of something bad happening in the future is one of the things that makes us human.... -Leo Babauta
Originally posted on Dreamwidth as http://netpositive.dreamwidth.org/73418.html . Do comment either hither or yon, as you see fit.Soundtrack: Joe Jackson - It's Different For Girls
|
|
He says the best way out is always through. And I agree to that, or in so far As that I can see no way out but through -- Leastways for me -- and then they’ll be convinced. -Robert Frost, "A Servant of Servants"I see so many people struggling. I hear so many people hurting. The strong get torn down; the weak get torn up. How can I make this world less dark? You tell me, and then we'll both know how to reach out in a lack of light and touch without shocking each other.
(Unless we both need the electricity. Then please, oh please, let the juice run.)
I've seen the divine. Quite recently in fact. But I don't see how to get there from here. So far. So far.
Yet the future keeps right on coming. I ’spose I’ve got to go the road I’m going: Other folks have to, and why shouldn’t I? -Robert Frost(seem to be a) verb: sleeping without Soundtrack: Brian May - The Dark
|
|
Everytime that you make me smile it's the same old way it used to be And that's enough for me -Fleetwood MacI do not object to making sausage, eating spaghetti, and batting clean up. But doing all three at once? A bit much.
I am grateful for any help and understanding I receive.
So far, so far, so far. Keep walking Though there's no place to get to. Don't try to see through the distances. That's not for human beings. Move within but don't move The way that fear makes you move. Rumi (translated by Coleman Barks)I want to go where nobody knows my name. I want to go a long way. I want to go.
Please let me go. Everytime that sleep don't come it's the same old pain it used to be And that's enough for me(seem to be a) verb: staying out of sight Soundtrack: Fleetwood Mac - That's Enough For Me
|
|
Stress is what you feel when you have to handle more than you are used to. -WebMd
I did not dream last night.
Ssy, have you seen me recently? I'm not exactly lost, but I don't feel very found.
I want to sleep long enough to dream.
I'd like to be present in the moment.
I need to get by.
Right now.
Breathe.
Walk away. Your goal should never be to avoid mistakes at all costs and seek control. Your goal should be to strengthen your perseverance by effectively dealing with the situation when things go awry. -a random article on Perseverance(seem to be a) verb: keeping my head down Soundtrack: Peter Gabriel - Red Rain
|
|
I dreamed this morning that I was dodging fireballs shaped like ghostly freight trains, in a basement I know quite well.
We opened a casement window to escape. People got out, but the piano was destroyed. I was in no danger, but.
Ah, sometimes Tir'na Na Nog'th is a subconscious... But these past few weeks, been entirely too literal.
How do you get the goose out of the bottle?
How do you get out?Soundtrack: Oysterband - Blood Wedding
|
|
From tacnukesoul: duty, tech, fan, caring, movement
Duty: not much about me is Puritan, but that part is. I did learn to say No to things a while back, which has saved me (and others) some grief. I also keep a running tally in my head of my own efforts vs. that of others -- sort of the "I'll be true as long as you, and not a moment after" method of debt discharge... except that others get bonus credit. Yes, I struggle a lot with duty to others taking precedence over any duty I might/should owe myself. Just because I see my world as a series of transactions doesn't mean I can make that virtual checkbook balance... Tech: I hang out with a lot of very "technical" people so perhaps I have more of a reputation for that than I really deserve. I like helping out and making things run smoothly, but don't have the interest in tech for tech's sake, or the obsessional quality of mastering an area of scientific knowledge/practice to a bleeding razor's edge.
Fan: when most of the people I've known talk about their finding [science-fiction] fandom, they seem to mention things like "how I felt an instant sense of belonging", or "it made me feel free(r) to be myself". Acceptance, understanding, sharing, kinship... not my experience of the collective. I've connected with some individuals, but if you asked me why I still show up, sometimes it's just force of habit. Or for the amusement of observation.
Caring: I think I'm capable of it. *pause* And the cats do get it. Beyond that... you'd have to ask other people.
Movement: I love watching other people move, almost as much as I love doing it myself (as long as I can do it half-well). But I came to martial arts late and partner dancing later, and I've never been highly athletic, so I don't have the elastic skill I see and envy in others.
If you want to play along, reply to this post by yelling (or even saying gently) "Words!" and I will give you five words that remind me of you. Then post them in your LJ and explain what they mean to you.Soundtrack: Wings - Band on the Run [live]
|
|
From whuffle: Discipline, reticence, jitterbug, cheetah, cautious
Discipline: I was raised to be several adjectives, high among them being "responsible", "reliable", and "polite". Sometimes _not_ doing or saying something is discipline keeping me from not being those adjectives. However, I do wish I had more positive discipline focused on doing either highly boring chores and/or highly creative work. My laundry isn't folded, and my novels aren't written; one wouldn't be too bad, but both undone is inexcusable.
Reticence: I've often found that showing one's feelings leads more to avoidance (if the listener finds them distasteful) or manipulation (if the listener has evil or selfish motives) than sharing or connection. I'd rather be simply invisible than actively shunned, and I know my vulnerabilities too well to show them.
Jitterbug: one of the few places left in my life where I have the energy and ability to be playful. (I'd still like some of the others back, mind you, and am pondering ways to return or to go on... but at least for now I have this outlet for flow.)
Cheetah: as a kid, I read all the Born Free-type books by Joy Adamson. I thought it would be neat to go live with lions. Then, I read _The Spotted Sphinx", and my allegiance shifted wholeheartedly to cheetahs for all the things I saw we had in common. Nothing I've learned since has done anything but intensify the feeling that I would make a far better cheetah than I do a human.
Cautious: like Treebeard, making up my mind does not take as long as going over all the facts. I think of myself as a strong person with a lot of capacity for intention, influence, or injury; thus I try hard not to make bad decisions. I don't like to change my mind once I have decided something, either -- even if the situation around me has changed, I feel *I* may not; or even if I *have*, I tend to honor my promises and just wait for others to break theirs instead.
If you want to play along, reply to this post by yelling (or even saying gently) "Words!" and I will give you five words that remind me of you. Then post them in your LJ and explain what they mean to you.Soundtrack: Duran Duran - Is There Something I Should Know
|
|
Don't know where I am. Only matters where I've been and How I'm going on. -me, on the road this morningHave been pondering "communities vs. individuals" a lot. Connection vs. disconnection. Can you have both? How do you balance the social and the solitary?
Feel like I'm looking for a practical spirituality and not finding it. I believe in immanence... but right now I'm not sure it believes in me.
People are hard. Groups of people are harder.
Am I crazy? Is it me? Is it you? The kind of spirituality I value is one in which you get great joy out of contributing to life, not just sitting and meditating, although meditation is certainly valuable. But from the meditation, from the resulting consciousness, I would like to see people in action creating the world that they want to live in. -Marshall Rosenberg(seem to be a) verb: drinking deep Soundtrack: Paul McCartney - Another Day
|
|
I'd like to go to Italy Just to eat the food Just to drink the wine Just to go -Patty Larkin, "Italy"So, this post is not about Italy. It's about Japan.
A friend recently commented that he didn't think of me as a T-shirt and jeans kind of girl. :) I was entertained because that's close what I think of as my "normal state", but this friend has generally seen me (1) in contexts where I should be wearing fancier clothes, or (2) when I'm cold and wearing sweater or sweatshirt -- which are often hiding a T-shirt.
(1) involves everything from work to dancing, and I get as close as I can to social norms without sacrificing too much to fashion; (2) includes everything under, say, 65 degrees.
But I have certain T-shirts that between physical comfort and emotional meaning, I come back to again and again. Some of them are so worn and tattered now that I only unfold and don them for "special occasions". Others hang in there -- or more precisely, don't hang because they often get yanked out of the clean laundry basket before folding even occurs.
Two of them involve Japan in some way, which is why this post comes out in this particular way and this particular time.
I went to Japan in Aug. 2007. Not to go to the Worldcon in Yokohama (just like I went to Los Angeles in 1996 not to go to Worldcon). As Patty Larkin would say, "Just to go."
Just to be.
I've lost my luggage in the Tokyo subway locker system; bought a CD from a band named Hanamizuki playing free on Minato-Mirai plaza; seen The Great Sasuke and Ultimo Dragon performing at Korakuen Hall; stood in the Ghibli Museum wearing my Princess Mononoke T-shirt; and climbed to a peak of Daisetsuzan, aka the "Roof of Hokkaido".
And:
I've used the Internet to discover the best "jingisukan" in Sapporo, and Lonely Planet to locate its two sublime ramen-noodle alleys; stopped over in Tomokomai because of a poster for an exhibition of matchbox art; experienced shinkansen and subways, ryokans and train sleeping cars, but did not try a capsule hotel; and discovered "umeshuu".
And:
I've chatted with train conductors, zookeepers, members of art museums, convenience store attendants, early morning sushi aficionados, temple attendants, and more: I, in my stumbling Japanese, them practicing English eagerly in turn.
And:
I've been to Sendai. I have a picture of the train station sign for Hachinohe because I loved its kanji. I've walked the streets of Aomori, provided crazy gaijin amusement for their police dept., and had to eat a "tako doonatsu" that my kosher-eating companion bought by mistake while he was still catching up to me on transliterating and translating.
My language is rusty again, and my bottle of umeshuu is just about empty, but my expired rail pass is still in my backpack. For I do miss that alien self, adrift in a stranger's world.
Clad in a T-shirt, and jeans.
So, my Japan: never #1 on my list of places I'd want to live (that'd be a slightly smaller island known as "the Big Island"), but in the top 3. Because I never expect to "belong" anywhere, and I would even tell you I don't like to travel... just to be.
Even now.
So, send help if you can. Or at least a positive thought or two. I'd like to go to Japan So my passport would look used Just to change my point of view Just to go -me, paraphrasing Patty
Donations: Direct Relief International for the people and places American Humane Association for injured/abandoned animals(seem to be a) verb: looking for the how Soundtrack: Ryuichi Sakamoto - Nuages
|
|
My feet travel five, seven, five. My hands hold a book, an iPod, cold blood, and keys. My heart is so very far away.Earlier heard birds. Now, sere silence of dead grass Scratched by vehicles.
Bobcats squat in mud, Yellow screaming against brown, Clawed wheels churned deep.
The sober of cold Stays outside blue neon bars Not drinking it in.
Shelves filled with shiny things I do not want to buy; I do turn around, and leave.
You level and build Metal trees and plastic wood Over life's underground.
You sweep your streets free of the broken and feral -- no place for me, here.
Beware the beast, then, Prowling civilization With no affection.
Later, sun through glass redeems one moment -- but a window remains closed. Trying to live in the moment may be necessary but is not always beautiful. Sometimes all one has is understanding what is.(seem to be a) verb: settling my stomach Soundtrack: Modest Mouse - Bury Me With It
|
|
I realized then that I who thought I had complete control of my life, had control of only three things: my thought, my mind – the images that these thoughts created – and the action that derived from it. So here I was wallowing in a vortex of emotions and depression and what have you, with the enormity of the situation, wanting to go to a place of healing, health and happiness. I wanted to go from where I was to where I wanted to be, for which I needed something. I needed something that would pull me out of all this. So I dried my tears, and I declared to the world at large... I said, "X is only one page in my life, and I will not allow this page to impact the rest of my life." I also declared to the world at large that I would ride it out, and I would not allow X to ride me. But to go from where I was to where I wanted to be, I needed something. I needed an anchor, an image, a peg to peg this process on, so that I could go from there. And I found that in my dance, my dance, my strength, my energy, my passion, my very life breath. -Ananda Shankar Jayant, TED video Feet? Check. Hands? Check. Brain? Check.
Will the real me please stand up? Oh, there you are...
I think. But I feel the Big Cat Blues. Imagine a lion walking around affirming – I’m king of the jungle, I’m king of the jungle. And yet this is exactly what people are doing with positive affirmations most of the time. The lion’s very nature is that it is a lion. Being king of the jungle is mostly an idea. Fortunately lions are not as confused as human beings. Lions mostly walk around being lions without suffering from being disconnected from themselves and having a bunch of ideas about who or what they should be. The most affirming experience we humans can have is to land in our true nature. A moment of perceiving the real is more powerful than a lifetime of words. Well intentioned, but misguided efforts at positive affirmations would be better spent in learning how to settle down and allow what is truly real in us arise into consciousness. The world is abundant. Life is on our side. We are awesome and wonderful. It’s the true state of affairs. If we can’t see it, then the more productive course of action is to explore – why not. Trying to convince ourselves that the sky is blue when, in fact, the sky is blue – is crazy behavior. As the saying goes – the only way out is through. Explore the deficiencies, the hidden beliefs. Open them up to the light of awareness. The truth will set us free. The false dissolves. Only the real remains. John, in Open Secrets Do you ride the lion, or does it ride you?
I need more words, more music, more dance, my voice.
I want to go to the end of my world -- my jungle.
I would like to walk around being a lion, and not worrying about being king or not.
I intend to stretch. (seem to be a) verb: lying in the sun Soundtrack: Deep Dish - Stranded / Big & Rich - Big Time
|
|
Have you heard of "conjugating adjectives" in English?
I'm thrifty; you're frugal; he's cheap. I'm assertive; you're aggressive; she's pushy.
This postholder is possibly about declining nouns.
One person's rescue is another person's escape. Someone's dream job may be someone else's nightmare.
Sometimes, you do the right thing -- and it doesn't work. From a particular reference point, looking up may only mean straight ahead, but it's still a change in point of view.
Trying to reframe this... but it's not easy.
Don't take it personally. Try giving it away instead.
Just another poor boy off to fight a rich man's war
I dreamed last night. Then I woke up and remembered it.
Ah, sometimes Tir'na Na Nog'th is a pattern you can walk. But first you have to find your feet. Then you have to move.(seem to be a) verb: blinking idiot Soundtrack: Steve Earle - pick any song
|
|
A conversation at dinner last night reminded me to write things down when I'm thinking of them. Or of you.
This will go through revisions, hopefully many. But for now it's a starting point.
I see you.
In every flower that blooms -- tree that leaves -- bee that buzzes -- wasp that stings.
I see you in the ice on frozen driveways, and the water flowing in Winters Run, and the steam rising from cow manure dropped in a cold Jarrettsville dawn.
In pine trees, and weeping willows, and crabapples.
I hear you in the chatter of chickens and the chewing of cows, in political discourse and private confessions, and in everyone's laughter.
I hear you in groups, in tete-a-tetes, and in silence.
You are there every time I darn a sock, or change my oil, or go to work, or do my taxes, or come home, or listen to music, or read a book. Right there -- and generally adding your opinion! (We don't always agree, but it always has value.)
I touch you in flannel and in velvet, in rusted steel and the fur of animals, in fuzzy sweaters and cotton/polyester, in the rocks of the field and the bones of my hands.
I taste you in overcooked roast beef and fresh asparagus, in white rice and red spices -- cinnamon, paprika, and catsup.
I smell you in fresh-cut wood and in turpentine, in new-mown grass and in bales of straw, in summer's air and autumn's fall.
(Oh, can't forget lemon-scented Pledge. Otherwise, I hate lemon -- just about as much as you seem to love it.)
And best of all, in all my senses, I can perceive you in others' hearts and minds.
Whatever you eventually reincarnate as, be it Buddha or beetle, I know one thing for sure.
Your spirit, is gonna cause some mischief.
To poets everywhere, even ones I don't like. And for the one I love above all others.(seem to be a) verb: reflecting Soundtrack: Shosakovich - Leningrad, 1st movement
|
|
I dreamed last night that I felt fine, but that some doctor was convinced I needed an immediate operation to remove something dangerous.
But I could never get an answer from him, or any of the hospital staff what, exactly, was the problem.
Despite going back into the dream -- twice! -- to try and get an answer from them. Or anyone.
Ah, sometimes Tir'na Na Nog'th is a subconscious. And sometimes, just a left turn at Albuquerque.
Still, I think maybe I know what it means.
The answers lie in me and no one else.
More later, I think. Cleaning, sorting, changing and throwing out are all short-term items on the long-term plan. Soundtrack: Extreme - When I'm President
|
|
Poor little dreamer Stand inside the door You can't find the easy rhymes Of times you had before-- -Heart, "Cry to Me"
Danced with the right people last night at contra, even the ones I didn't know. The ones I did? Thank you -- bless you.
I dreamed last night I was the last passenger on a jet plane with 16 cabins which varied wildly in accommodation.
Fourteen passengers were already on board. split evenly between friends and allies and so there were only two cabins left for me to choose from.
One was the smallest, just a white closet.
The other was the largest, with controls, monitors, and a VHS deck containing a tape labeled "Safety Procedures for This Flight".
Ah, sometimes Tir'na Na Nog'th is a subconscious. And sometimes, just a hard slap in the face. The glass is empty and the wine Is bitter on your tongue People don't seen wild and fine Like when you were young--
In other news, I forgot how warm snowboard socks are. But how I hate cold and dark months ending in -ember? That part, full well I remember.
But I also remembered to take my vitamins this morning.
Dancing encourages hyperventilation, increases the production of adrenaline, and causes a sharp decrease in levels of blood glucose. These physiological responses stimulate the brain to release endorphins... -Barbara Tedlock, _The Woman in the Shaman's Body_(seem to be a) verb: throwing out trash Soundtrack: Jayhawks - Baby Baby Baby / Ash - Burn Baby Burn
|
|
I dreamed last night that my first solo flight in a helicopter was to a town in North Carolina. Three important people were my passengers. From there, I found I needed a (new?) map to go on.
Ah, sometimes Tir'na Na Nog'th is a subconscious. And sometimes, just a mirror. (seem to be a) verb: rising slowly thru grey mist Soundtrack: Thomas Dolby - 17 Hills/Flat Earth/White City
|
|
You may or may not know that I work in user experience.
This was my off half hour this morning. This morning, I usability tested myself, among several other things...
- Get on bus [normally 10-15 minute ride].
- How about a quick email check on mobile phone?
[Motorola CLIQ:Android, 2 weeks and still shiny]
- Open [in GMail] a promotional email from a
certain major book/etc. retailer touting their eReader!
- Specifically touting "Got a BN eReader? Get a Free Coffee!"
- Don't drink coffee, but do like the idea of a BN eReader.
Am trying out 2 different ebook apps already, sure, add a third...
- Text in email that says "Download eReader" is bold and
differently colored. Try clicking that to download. Success?
- Fail. Does not download eReader(or do anything else).
- Irritated and pressed for time, so missed seeing smaller
link farther down page -- after some more promo text -- which says "Download it now". It? What's an 'it'? I'm skimming for 'eReader'. Fail.
- Also ignore link at top saying "Hurry! Offer Ends July 15.
Coffee's On the House - When You Show the eBook You're Reading*" not expecting it to do anything other than blather on more about the promotion, how wonderful coffee is, how wonderful ebooks are, etc. Because I don't care about the coffee, dammit, and I'm not reading an eBook yet because I don't have your eReader yet. Fail.
- Use a link in email to go to major book/etc. retailer
website home page.
- Search for 'eReader'.
- Search results don't bring up eReader in 4 results,
but do have link to "Download eReader" in footer. Success?
- Fail. Link says "page not found".
- To add insult to injury, it suggests I use search.
- Impatient [bus has turned onto Columbia Pike] I go to
Google and search 'barnes noble ereader'. [I used to be a librarian, kids, don't try this at home.] Link to [correct] page shows up 2nd or 3rd.
- Go [back] to BN via Google. Find "Download eReader."
Success?
- Fail. Link wants to send me to iTunes to download. WTF?
If I wanted iTunes on my smartdevice I woulda bought an iPhone.
- [Whole rant re: years of me vs. iTunes deleted for time.]
- Bus is now on Hayes St. I have about 3 more minutes of
Internet connection before going into heavy shielding [aka the DC Metro]. Back to Google and search just 'eReader'... looking for reviews, maybe, to see if this thing is even worth my time.
- See a result for ereader.com. Ooh! Go there. Success?
- Maybe! Top banner even says "a Barnes & Noble Company"
and in left nav there is a top link for "FREE eReader Software ▪ Download Now!" Click on that.
- Ooh! Nice listing of phones and Android is right there!
Click on "Android", hoping it doesn't route me back to iTunes...
- Adds "eReader for Android" choices at bottom. Extra step,
but I sure feel I'm on the right path now... click on that as bus turns into Pentagon.
- Android applications manager tells me I'm default set
NOT to install apps that are NOT from the official Android store. Oops. I know how to fix that, though. Quick detour through Settings and I'm downloading and installing eReader.
- Launch eReader. Hmm, no obvious BN branding? Sure hope
I have the right app... can't worry about that for the next 5 minutes as I transfer modes of transportation and lose Internet.
- Temporary reconnection as subway crosses above river.
List of ebooks available. Choice for Categories or "View ebooks by Author". [I used to be a *cataloging* librarian, kids, so I know how erratic categorizing fiction can be.] Authors! Ooh!
- Nooooo! Search and browse design unthinking! Gives me
a list for 'A' authors, with choices at top for the other letters of the alphabet. However, it also alphabetizes the middle initial A. as the start of a last name.
- And, it displays results as 'first name last name'.
- And, should you scroll down to 'Mariano Azuela ' at
bottom of 'A' list, no way to get to 'B' list without scrolling back up to top of page, which is a royal pain on mobile devices where the screen is long and thin.
- Back underground and on to work, via a maze of twisty
corridors that all look alike...
Some people debate the 'validity' of usability testing because it's generally set up to do specific scenarios in a limited time session with supposedly artificial testing stress added.
I'm now wondering if my usability tests are too nice...
|
|
See also the previous post like this.
Today is a day where I am being driven crazy by abundant boredom and a lack of opportunity.
So tell me something else I may not know... how would _you_ complete this sentence? (about yourself)
"I need a ____ that won't drive me crazy."
Comments screened to protect the innocent, the guilty, and the shy from the shameless.
|
|
Today was a day when I was glad I had lots of Blue Oyster Cult on the iPod.
So. Tell me something I may not know... how would _you_ complete this sentence? (about yourself)
"I'm ___________ and I like it."
Comments screened to protect the innocent, the guilty, and the shy from the shameless.(seem to be a) verb: crunching Soundtrack: Thomas Dolby - White City (live)
|
|
A touch of cool rain On the back of a bare neck Trickles down the spineSoundtrack: ELO - Summer and Lightning
|
|
... I guess I'll have to show more skin in the next one. The public's demandin' it. Y'know, when they ask for meat you can't give 'em vegetables. -Ruby Carter, _It Ain't No Sin_If you did something for me? Thank you. I appreciate it.
If I did something for you? You're welcome. My pleasure.
And if we didn't do anything? It's okay. Try again tomorrow.
I feel my connection to the divine. I'm grateful for the light and heat. But a rainstorm would be lovely too. Kiss me & don't forget What you see is what you get Oysterband, "Blood Wedding"Soundtrack: Collins/Cray/Copeland - Lion's Den
|
|
Run while you can. And dance really loud.
So now I know what it would sound like if Depeche Mode tried to hold a concert during a German ping-pong tournament. ( cut for Em Licht lyrics, original and translated )Soundtrack: Bonnie Raitt - "Something to Talk About"
|
|
3 is not the same as double. Adjust your expectations. Make lemon juice tart.
Friday - contra dancing and Antero Alli. Saturday - classical musicians and Django Reinhardt. Sunday - bookcases and hellburgers. Monday - pizza and intravenous fluids. Tuesday - sinuses and video archiving. Wednesday - "That's different. I'm trustworthy." Thursday - "Listen, I'm not kidding. This is my job!"
Need to step it up a bit? Ten things a day. Per room.
You, make me a better person. You, make me a bigger person. You, make me a thoughtful person. You, make me think.
Still need that blue sky, though.Soundtrack: Der Neier Doina - Dave Tarras
|
|
Been feeling a lot more like myself lately.
A lot of me. And then some.
Kinda nice.
Meat and salt, and juice for me.
A pair of roller skates, and a brand new key. Perhaps I have the universe. Or maybe it has me.(seem to be a) verb: thinking big Soundtrack: Stevie Wonder - Have a Talk With God
|
|
Switch off the mind and let the heart decide who you were meant to be Flick to remote and let the body glide, there is no enemy Etch out a future of your own design, well tailored to your needs Then fan the flame and keep the dream alive of a continent, a continent, a continent, a continent... -Thomas Dolby
If I were a believer in omens, this morning I missed the bus *and* the elevator to work is broken.
And then, the cursor on my laptop froze in place.
And I'm thirsty. Still so thirsty. If you have not yet succeeded on an inward journey, be gentle with yourself. Give yourself time. Gently let yourself go deeper. Whatever experience comes to you, let it take you over. Welcome it. Relish it. GoursanaSoundtrack: Joe Jackson - Obvious Song
|
|
Hear her laughing in earthquake land...
Sometimes the 60GB iPod acts more like an audible tarot deck than a soundtrack to life. This morning's zodiac clockwork orange spread:
Blue Oyster Cult - "Real World" Loretta Lynn - "Mrs. Leroy Brown" Donna Summer - "I Remember Yesterday" The Joker's Wild - "Crazy Lady" Sue Foley - "Let My Tears Fall Down" Scorpions - "Nightmare Avenue" Joe Jackson - "Rant and Rave" Blue Oyster Cult - "Hot Rails to Hell" Bizarre Inc. - "Playing with Knives" Stephen Halpern - "Trance-ZENDANCE" Marillon - "Alone Again in the Lap of Luxury" Lambert, Hendricks & Ross - "Halloween Spooks"
and the hidden baker's dozen song was...? Lee Press-On and the Nails - "Jumpin' Jive"
Other people make decisions without me. Why can't I?
Unless maybe the decision doesn't matter. We're drifting in the waiting room Call it real, but call me real soon
Dear Tir'na Na Nogth, Did I really need dreams invading my waking hours?
Well, yeah, maybe I do.
But next time, just drive-by with a bunch of Swords. Faster, more elegant, -- and I do like to recycle.
Forever yours in Amber, Conscious Yes, so many geniuses that have been labeled as weird, crazy, and you know what. But, at the end of the day, such geniuses prevailed and look what their great work or baby projects have been giving us-- comforts, enjoyment, and the like. -Making A Difference Amidst Indifference - 4 Survival Affirmations to Take to HeartSoundtrack: Joe Jackson - What's the Use of Getting Sober
|
|
The Affirmation section is where you'll learn to change the words you use inside, in order to gain more confidence and admiration on the outside! -leanrteen.com
Seems like I'm most impressive at a (safe) distance.
The farther away you are, the more interesting I am.
Maybe I should move very far away from anyone else. I am a valuable human being.
An opportunity is simply a possibility until I act on it. -secretchanges.comSoundtrack: Joe Jackson - Not Here, Not Now
|
|
So in between the B/W Parkway and West Park Drive, there's this moment in time and space:
Empty space in your head next day Memories have come and they have gone Open your eyes can't get back to sleep Though it's the earliest crack of dawn There's a nagging something You can't quite put your finger on... -Tracy McDonnell
Do I feel better because I take the vitamins, or do I take the vitamins because I feel better? Or maybe the vitamins take me. Whatever. Just take the vitamins.
Easy games can provide a sense of accomplishment. It may seem like a "false" sense because the game is not "real". But you, and your play, are as real as.
Try asking for what you want. It's hard to hear nos, but at least you're speaking for yourself when you do.
More honey than vinegar. But vinegar can bring the tart.
Let's face the music -- and dance. If you want to build a ship, don't drum up people together to collect wood and don't assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea. -Antoine de Saint-ExuperySoundtrack: Ray Gelato - Forget About Livin'
|
|
There's a message in the wind that blows... -Cher
I struggle with change and I grow very slowly.
But I will grow past this.
Please connect me with the divine. Please. I know it's out there. There's a world out there.
Please connect me now.Soundtrack: Cher - One Small Step (In Time)
|
|
The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and all science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed. -Albert Einstein
While gaining physical and then psychological self-confidence over time, I seem to have lost emotional self-confidence along the way.
Sometimes learned behavior still doesn't help.
Please connect me with something.
In and out quick, a cowboy. -a character in the Illuminatus! trilogySoundtrack: Patty Larkin - Not Bad For A Broad
|
|
Too long a cooped-up lionness --
Every song I've mixed this year has been true, if you only knew. There are rabies vaccination tags for cats who ran away --
Even the ones you didn't hear me play a thousand times, thinking. Ignorance is a kind of bliss --
Soundtrack: McDonnell, Longcor, Jackson
|
|
Focus, Castle. It's a crime scene. -Kate Beckett... a secret out, a secret in.
Break in, break out, but not break up, not break down.
The brakes are off. The drive is on.
Not broken, just the breaks.
A secret out, a secret in... Could we please focus, people... focus. -Nathan Ford(seem to be a) verb: sitting right here in now Soundtrack: Extreme - Suzi / Lords of Acid - Doggie Tom
|
|
A rendered transliteration of the Middle English original. For those of you not conversant with ME, þ ~= some kind of th.
Sumer is icumen in Lhude sing cuccu! Groweþ sed and bloweþ med and springþ þe wode nu. Sing cuccu!
Awe bleteþ after lomb, Lhouþ after calue cu, Bulluc sterteþ, bucke verteþ. Murie sing cuccu! Cuccu, cuccu, Wel singes þu cuccu. ne swik þu naver nu! Sing cuccu nu, Sing cuccu!
Sing me, sing you, sing cuccu too...
The world goes swift around On an axis that shifts instant; Sometimes it seems sound that only change is constant.
Dreams are hard to share Being so personal a metaphor; For our needs that need care Are the why that dreams are for.
Your time is not anyone else's, So allot your hours as you may. Call it a virtue to be selfish -- If that new self meets others halfway.
Longings deferred be not longings denied, Long distances need not estrange -- A walk on your path can be tried, But only my own can I change.
Groweth sed, and bloweth med, and springst the world anew. Spring and summer are coming, she said: In season, let our own selves come true. Life is all about timing... the unreachable becomes reachable, the unavailable become available, the unattainable... attainable. Have the patience, wait it out. It's all about timing. -Stacey Charter
Back to work.(seem to be a) verb: seeing fruit juice everywhere Soundtrack: Extreme - Play with Me / Prince - 1999 (Rosario)
|
|
Friendship doubles our joy and divides our grief. -Swedish proverb
Statement 1: I am comfortable in myself and I value my friends. Statement 2: I value my friends and I am comfortable in myself. Do you feel any difference? Do you feel any different? Do you believe any differently?
I believe there's a difference between a pain in the heart and a pain in the neck.
I believe there's a difference between education and a lecture.
I believe there's a difference between honey and vinegar.
If you don't understand me or think I should be different, you don't understand me and you're right, I am different.
And you know, if you think me childish, then hey, I think I'll run along and play now. In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures. -Kahlil Gibran(seem to be a) verb: avoiding error Soundtrack: Everything But The Girl - Missing
|
|
I hate going to the vet so much, my family has asked the lady who I would probably like if she wasn't a vet to come by and see me in an hour or so. So my catfriend Reggie the Balinista is gonna steal Mom's password and put this message from me in her journal, for Mom to see my last words whenever she misses me in the future.
( So, What Is Mom Like? [cut for sad] )(seem to be a) verb: sniffling in sympathy w/Stojko Soundtrack: Desert Rose Band - Livin' in the House
|
|
If I had a boat I'd go out on the ocean And if I had a pony I'd ride him on my boat And we could all together Go out on the ocean Me upon my pony on my boat -Lyle LovettWhen I was a child, I read Thor Heyerdahl. So I've been in sacred caves on Easter Island.
When I was a child, I read Joy Adamson. So I've been to the savanna and run wild.
When I was a child, I read J.R.R. Tolkien. So I've been to Middle Earth and met Ents.
I'm not bad at traveling once I get going. But I never really understand it until I get there.
If then.
I want to go to the place where I want to be.
You know where that is?
I don't. It is not down in any map; true places never are. -Herman MelvilleSoundtrack: The Thorns - No Blue Sky
|
|
[Part of this was originally posted private on July 21, 2009. Updated 12/2/2009 to honor helping hands and making mistakes.]
Bob Uecker, who does play-by-play for the Milwaukee Brewers, said something the other day that I'm still thinking about. He was talking about power hitters, and what makes a really excellent one, and what he said was, "They hit mistakes really hard." The key here is, he's not talking about the PITCHER's mistakes, because of course they slug the bejesus out of those. He's talking about THEIR mistakes. Even when they get ahead of the ball and they're not going to be able to pull it, they still hit it with everything they've got. And sometimes, that ball goes out of the park just the same as if they'd done what they wanted. -truepenny, in a comment on a post about a post about a post about writingTao is about ten thousand things, and the one.
Try to deal with ten items a day. Move them around, use them up, throw them out, whatever works.
Whenever eating anything with tomato sauce, remember to wear a black shirt and also have the laundry hamper handy.
There must be at least a hundred ways to game a system. When in doubt, consider that anything can be solved given enough time or willingness to break things. Which one would you choose?
That's a minimum of ten items, by the way. You can always go to eleven if you want to.
Do things you enjoy. Do things you can. Do things.
A picture can be worth a thousand words. Though sometimes one word is "Aww..." and it just gets repeated a thousand times.
Thanks Bill, Berry, Cait, cats, and Wolfie. If we do not fear to commit mistakes, if we take the omens as a warning, as a help to cross that particular day, then we start to get deeper and deeper into the soul of the world. -Paulo Coehlo(seem to be a) verb: rubbing my eyes Soundtrack: Pat Benatar - Out-A-Touch + Patty Larkin - 24/7/365
|
|
[Part of this was originally posted private on 9/30/2008. Updated 12/1/2009 as closure for Black November 2009.]
The message for me in what you've said is that ACTION is always better than inaction, a lesson that for some reason I have had to relearn again and again.
It goes like this: You must take a step in the direction that you think is right, because you will otherwise never know what that step might reveal. Whether that step reveals the error in your thinking, the missing enabler, the proof you've sought, the beauty or ugliness you never imagined, the nature of resistance, or nothing particularly meaningful, it is worth the effort to pull back the curtain, because it will expand your knowledge and guide you. Linda from DeerfieldStep, step, step.
If your foot lands in mud, pull it up, shake it off. Go on.
If your other foot lands in shit, pull it up, shake it off. Go on. Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step. –Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.(seem to be a) verb: my face is in my hands Soundtrack: Joe Jackson - Throw It Away/LCD Soundsystem - Us v Them
|
|
She was an old lady even when she was young.
She was born cranky, and she always wanted to be an only cat. But she got used to us over time (if still barely tolerating the other cats) and slowly she figured out it was all right for her to get on our beds, and to enjoy petting.
Her favorite meal was chicken. Though turkey, beef, salmon, lamb vindaloo, etc. were all okay with her too. As was gooshy food of all types. As were crunchy treats. But her favorite was chicken.
*pause*
I regret to inform you that the Dowager Empress Skye has taken her leave now, in search of new socks to slay.
Her last meal was chicken.(seem to be a) verb: swallowing hard Soundtrack: Gone, Gone, Gone/Prayer/Go Fall Asleep Now - John Hartford
|
|
... circumstances indicate that the path to your destination twists and turns in a bewildering way. Your insight, however, can penetrate and make sense of confusion. -definition, juxtaposition from Tarot.comGo to the bathroom first. Then drink deep from your mystical cup. Pry your ghost loose from its shell, and find a right space for your words.
Point out the middle path, and reconcile the polarities. Bring creativity and flexibility to the way you go about your way in the world. Move slowly and deliberately if change is required.
Don't be too proud to ask for someone's help. Sometimes you do get it.
What kinds of negative messages, self-doubt or paranoid fantasies descend upon you from time to time? Don't let them undermine your ability to be who you are and to contribute. Examine them and give them each a name, and identify them as separate from you (imagining them as little demons can help). This will increase your dominion over them.
Turn the page. Write the next line. Take my foot off the brake already!
A path is traversed one step at a time. A navigator can help you find the way. Is it a lantern, or only an hourglass?
Simon says: take a baby step, baby. Why must we dream in metaphors? Try to hold on to something we couldn't understand. SealSoundtrack: Seal - Dreaming in Metaphors
|
|
Go, PowerCat, go!
Walking home from work last evening, I walked into the wind.
Walking to work this morning, I walked into the wind.
I feel on the verge of uplift -- but the wind is always in front, and I don't know how to sail. Or remember, yet, how to fly. A man traveling through the darkness is yet traveling. The disciple is learning when he does not know that he is learning, and as a result he may well chafe. In winter, Rumi reminds him, a tree is collecting nutriment. People may think that it is idle, because they do not see anything happening. But in spring they see the buds. Now, they think, it is working. There is a time for collecting, and a time for releasing. This brings the subject back to the teaching: "Enlightenment must come little by little—otherwise it would overwhelm." Idries ShahI realize that I am very lucky. It is a measure of my own 'success' that I have room to look for more.
Sitting out in the sun to read, it helps. And the scent of hyacinths, in the market. On the verge of something I feel, I can't see.
I try to savor today, yet can't help but ask: is it tomorrow yet? Discipline is remembering what you want. bmindful affirmations(seem to be a) verb: following the faintest trail Soundtrack: Seal - Fast Changes
|
|
Where's your head at? Where's your head at? Basement Jaxx
Is it fair to make this post just after midnight?
In a new month, to boot?
Yesterday: felt like the first time I've breathed for days. I still had moments of anger and wasn't being productive, but I cleaned out some stuff.
- walk outside - see the sun - mail a box - have chai - get more radishes - return all library books - drop off recycling - listen to music - work on stretching my mind - share some time - stay warm - be sadly amused - remember "I could have told you that at Cardosa" - plan for future organizing - continue research
Today: - go to sleep. Your first draft of any piece of work is "mud" --- raw material.... If the first draft's awful, great! It's meant to be. It's only raw material. However, if you don't create the first draft, or you wait until you have a really great idea that's worth a first draft, you won't write anything. Write. Make mud. -Angela Booth(seem to be a) verb: thirsty for liquid sunshine Soundtrack: Crack the Sky - Hold On (live)
|
|
We can talk all night, We can talk all day We can play charades when there is nothing to say You turn me on to the idea of growing old The Features
Assimilate your information.
Do the thing you are meant to be doing. Yours. Not anyone else's -- not your mother's, your best friend's, or the President's. Your thing. Right now, and tomorrow too.
Write first. Worry later. Or not at all. For those of us who are too headstrong to learn from human beings, lessons will duly arrive in the guise of Situations, Dreams, and other Self-Generative Activities. Antero Alli, in _Angel Tech_ (1st ed.)
It's only the future.
Don't forget to breathe.
(And if you need to dream, try sleeping.)
Thank you, Sondra Venable. Do you remember Standing on the shore, Head in the clouds, Your pockets filled with dreams Bound for glory On the seven seas of life, But, the ocean is deeper than it seems
Baby, baby, baby, baby, You'll find that you're the only one Can sail your ship across the sky WhitesnakeSoundtrack: Roberto Miles - Children
|
|
Irrational idea for today: Get angry at yourself for all those things not done, and just give up. Why bother? Who cares, really?
Write down the facts.
Down time. Dead time. Resentment. Resistance. Have not been as productive at work recently. Didn't write words three of the last five days. Forgot to use two coupons to save on books. Have done zero shopping for the holidays yet, and have no idea what to get anyone, either. Spent a week waiting on someone to call me back about something important, albeit not urgent. Skipped possible dancing opportunities twice. Can't focus on anything to look forward to. Connected with the divine all Wednesday night -- but connected with nothing since then.
Write down your subjective self-talk.
"You'll never accomplish what you want to. You're going nowhere right now and that will never ever change. Everything before this was just a lie, to get your hopes up. You're not paying attention to anything or anyone important and you are unable to change your bad patterns. Look at your inconsistent control of your diet. Think of all the things you haven't done by now. You hate the 'holiday season'/this time of year, and you resist any encouragement or insistence from others to be happy, or participate in it; it is unnatural not to enjoy this, and you have no right to be/feel so different from others."
Describe your emotional response.
I feel like I'm not who or what I think I am, and that's frustrating after a too short period of feeling better and more "me" than usual. I feel like I must not really have the self-discipline or abilities I envision myself as having, and so I'm a terrible being - a waste of time and space.
I also hate having my schedule/routine disrupted; and Thanksgiving through New Year's is a time every year when that happens to me.
I also really hate being told by others that I "have to", "should" or "must" do certain things -- even if I agree and believe in them, or not.
And then I hate myself for not being thoughtful of others, and for not sharing their happiness.
I have become so afraid to look forward to the future for fear of disappointment. I'm afraid to try to change things -- even broken ones -- for fear of renewed, or different, failure.
Then I'm mad at myself for not even living up to my own expectations - for not finding hope in things - for not going forward all the time.
Dispute and change irrational self-talk.
I don't normally regret for long things, esp minor ones, which I have not done once they are past. Also, I am usually good about discharging my obligations without undue resentment. I must be feeling a lot of extra performance pressure imposed on me by myself and perhaps (knowingly or otherwise) by others. Part of this may be my (mis)perception of others' expectations of me...
I know this time of year is always very difficult for me, when it gets dark and cold and my routine is thrown off, and I don't feel like celebrating.
I also know I am often afraid of change because I don't know what will happen afterwards -- and I may not be in control of what does.
This is all conflicting with my desire that *this year*, "things will be different": because I have things I really want to do and relationships that I want to maintain, or improve, despite my feeling lethargic and disconnected, and overwhelmed by pressure.
Substitute alternative, rational self-talk.
You've run into a whole bunch of roadblocks! Let's take them one at a time out of that wall.
You do good work, and that will continue. However, you would like periodic feedback from others that you are helpful and useful. At present, you're not getting much of that. But you will have your annual review soon and that should tell you where you stand and what you can do to improve yourself or help others.
You did write, two days out of five. Both days you did extra beyond your (self-imposed) goal. Two of those other days you did some research that you've recorded in your notes to support your upcoming work. Plus you should have some help with your research as you get organized and know what -- or who -- to ask for.
More books? You have plenty to go through yet! There will be other chances -- and coupons -- whenever you finally need more reference works.
As for your unhappiness about holiday shopping, this is a manifestation of your fears about money, uncertainty, and simple lack of time, as well as frustration with insistent insanity in spite of both negative and positive reality checks. However, you generally shop for others via wish lists and gift cards. You also try to help others who need it, via charity donation requests or invisible acts of kindness. It all happens, at an appropriate level, in a way that works for both you and the recipients.
You did collect needed contact and resources information, so that you can now proceed with settling something you've procrastinated about. You are taking steps to take care of yourself in smaller and larger ways; however, there will be moments when you fall down, for whatever reason. Blaming yourself never helps get you back up.
You have celebrated, and will celebrate, with someone important to you; even if you do feel fear of the implicit acknowledgment that time passes, you can still be grateful for all the time that is, and all your presences in it.
In addition, you are back in touch with people both close and far away from you, and you have another chance to let them know what they mean to you. You can do things you want to. It's ok to balance that with what others want you to do.
Remember: a phone is simply a tool. Use it.
Notice your thoughts and feelings, acknowledge them non-judgementally, and let them go.
I feel these things. They may or may not be rational, but I do not discount that I feel.
Refuting the irrational idea:
Look back. It was not a lie; it is your path. Look down. Those are your feet, standing still. Look forward. There is your chance to take steps. Look up. Remember standing in a concrete courtyard a few nights back, all those lights shining upwards and one star looking down through reflected glory?
You haven't left the universe, any more than it's left you. It finds you even in this. The universe has a weird sense of humor, you see, by making you go through ecstacy just to get to the laundry.
Fear of failure is understandable, especially when you have been used to success. But the worst that can happen could still be for the best if it frees you from further fear of failure. So why not try? Instead of giving myself reasons why I can't, I give myself reasons why I can. -anonymous
Tactics:
Listen to any music that helps right now. Skip the rest until sumer is icumen in.
If there's blockage in the way, you have always found my own unique way to get past it. Use your innate resistance, rather than feeling used by it. They say you can't, or you shouldn't? Say: "I can. I will. I must. And no, I won't let you stop me." Aikido your critics with their own negative energy.
Continue to get rid of ten things a day to make room for the ten thousand things. Then you will have what matters most to you.
Breathe. Breathe once just to go in and out. Breathe twice, to reestablish the pattern. Breathe threefold -- for those who were, for those who are, and for that which will be. Then keep on breathing, however you do it.
Continue to celebrate even the smallest things. If you don't share another's joy at this time, don't disrespect it. Find it in your own terms. If only the fact that the year, and the wheel, will continue to turn -- that spring will come.
Listen to others -- but find your own voice. If you hear a voice within you say 'you cannot paint,' then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced. -Vincent Van Gogh(seem to be a) verb: unable to find the right feast Soundtrack: John Hartford - Crystallia Daydream / Johnny Cash - Five Feet High and Rising
|
|
Exhilaration is that feeling you get just after a great idea hits you and just before you realize what's wrong with it. -Anonymous
Recently I asked for any recommendations of good works in two specific genres: U.S. Civil War fiction and alternate histories. (That's the short form of it.)
Lest you think I am not open-minded or omnivorous even when I'm immersed in my own ongoing insanity, here's what comes home with me when I have .5 hours in the local library.
_Voices of the Civil War: The Peninsula_ - Time-Life Books. _Daily Life in Civil War America_ - Volo and Volo.
Think you see a theme there? Guess again!
_Murder at Manassas_ - Kilian
Not only historical USCW fiction, but a mystery!
_Modesty Blaise: the Night of Morningstar_ - O'Donnell
Wait, where did that come from [a "people are reading" display. Have earlier books in series and love them.]
_This Business of Urban Music_ - Walker
Left field? One of my favorite books last year was a terrific handbook on concert touring and promotion.
_Green Inc.: an environment insider reveals how a good cause has gone bad_ - Macdonald
More inside information on an industry I'm curious out. I'm more fanatical than many of my friends but not as rabid as some. Willing to listen but keeping an open mind (and still believing that doing things to save the world may help oneself before all else).
_The Animal Dialogues: uncommon encounters in the wild_ - Childs
Right off the new books shelf. Don't listen to public radio so have never heard of this nature essayist, but anything that mentions "the North American cheetah" on the back of the book has a good chance with me. ;)
_The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse_ - Rankin Paperback so I can read while standing up on subway. Great title. A serial killer in a toy town? Try it.
_Adventure Guide to the Virgin Islands_
Under negotiation. Warmth in Jan. or Feb.? Maybe...
_Night Child_ - Jes Bartis
Occult forensics in Vancouver. [Technically, this isn't from *this* library, but 2/3rds in has become unexpectedly good writing so deserves a mention.] I have no desire to prove anything by dancing. I have never used it as an outlet or a means of expressing myself. I just dance. I just put my feet in the air and move them around. -Fred Astaire(seem to be a) verb: doing a drive-by Soundtrack: Django Reinhardt - Sheik of Araby
|
|
It takes a great deal of history to produce a little literature. -Henry JamesSeanan McGuire has an interesting essay on Know Your Territory: that one needs to be somewhat familiar with the genre one is writing in.
Sadly, this applies hard to me: I am creatively stranded in unfamiliar territory. I read a wide variety of stuff -- not just "speculative fiction" -- BUT I am not familiar at all with the subgenre of alternative history. My soul is firmly rooted in heroic fantasy, dammit! Nonetheless, somehow I got this idea that wouldn't go away....
I agree with her in principle and I am trying to do this, but it has some problems. The most irritating thing about working on this alternate history idea has been not doing the historical research (or even doing the writing itself, though it's early yet) -- it's been doing just this kind of "market research" on other books "in the genre".
It's been like adding 50% again on top of all the other work one is doing to unearth and ground one's writing PLUS having to suffer through stuff that isn't good, or isn't right, or simply isn't "what I want to do with it".
[Or rarely, it's so good one despairs, at least for a few minutes. Then one grits and grinds and gnashes one's competitive teeth together and gets on with it again.]
Specifically in my situation, where does one draw the line? What is "alternative history"? _Guns of the South_, sure, but how about _Gone With The Wind_? Gingrich-Forstchen's _Gettysburg_ series looks to be popular, but it's almost a polar opposite of the kind of fiction I want to write. If that's what people really want, maybe I'm doomed. [Or is it just a matter of getting a vaguely-related celebrity name on the book cover? *rolls eyes* If it was a choice of "by Sarah Palin and..." or not being published, WWTDCD? :P ]
So I agree with her -- and yet.... :) Maybe I need help.
I turn to you, dear reader, for you are reading this and I blithely assume you may read other things as well.
Have you ever read anything that you consider either:
(a) a *good* work about the Civil War era? Emphasis here is on fictional works, but if you have a favorite auto/bio or nonfiction item, go ahead and rave about it. I may read those too -- someday. Major bonus points for anything that conveyed the flavor of the time without being ponderous, and the characters didn't seem too anachronistic (or saintly!).
(b) a well-done alternative history piece? Doesn't have to be U.S. Civil War, but it would help if its backing history is not *too* obscure. 14th century Ojibwa culture may be Fascinating enough for Mr. Spock, but I lack time to immerse myself in it.
I am aware of David Weber and Eric Flint, and Patrick O'Brien. Go ahead and explain what appeals to you in them! Bonus points if you can convince me to read them.
Thanks in advance just for reading this. Also if you respond. If you want writing time in your day, you have to take it—no one will give it to you. Often, you can only take it from your own alternate activities; writers' lives tend to get rather stripped-down for that reason. -Lois McMaster Bujold(seem to be a) verb: drinking from two mugs Soundtrack: GT and the Destroyers - You Can't Catch Me
|
|
Space is dark It is so endless When you're lost It's so relentless-- -HawkwindMaybe it's ok to feel a little bit empty. Maybe it means that you have grown bigger and are waiting for something else to fill you.
Pearls aren't a behavior -- they're a result.
If you can't do it on schedule, at least do it. Progress always involves risk; you can't steal second base and keep your foot on first base. -Frederick WilcoxIf you can look outside yourself, there are other people out there. Course, that goes for inside, too.
Sometimes, one realizes that one foot got one a lot farther than one realized.
Beat the dog and the lion will behave.
Thank you, George P. Kelley. Just lie down on the floor and keep calm. John Dillinger (as quoted by Robert Anton Wilson)(seem to be a) verb: counting the future Soundtrack: The KLF - Last Train to Transcentral
|
|
|
|